Friday, October 5, 2012

The birth story

Hi friends,
It's been a long time since I've written a post here, sorry about the delay, but everyone who said I wouldn't have time to blog was right, being a new mom takes up a LOT of time!  Most (probably all of you) readers know now that our healthy, beautiful little boy, Abraham James Sonnek, was born via c-section at 8:48am on Tuesday, July 31st at United Hospital in St. Paul, MN.  He weighed 6 lbs 7 ounces and was 20 inches long, and he is the love of our lives. 

10 days old
I've been pondering for weeks now whether or not to share our birth story, and ultimately decided that I needed to write it down, get it out there, and share it with you all.  Years down the road, I want to remember the details, the feelings and emotions we experienced on that magnificent yet bittersweet day.  So bear with me if the story tends to get a little long...

10:00pm the night before
The night before Abraham was born, Aaron and I lay in bed, WIDE awake of course, talking quietly and having a peaceful night, trying to think about all that would change in the next day, weeks, months and years to come.  We took a video of my pregnant belly, moving and shaking - as we wanted to remember the last moments of being pregnant.  What a journey it was. Somewhere around 1am we drifted off to sleep, woken by the alarm at 3:30am to call the hospital and check-in.  We got the green light to head in to the hospital.

Insert video here

4:00am July 31st
We were on our way to the hospital, it was a warm morning, the sun not yet up yet, with few cars on the road.  Soon enough we had arrived, walked into the Birth Center hand-in-hand (albeit slightly sweaty), pretty nervous, but way more excited than anything else.  We were going to meet our son soon! The staff had expected us, and lead us to the prep room where I changed in to my lovely hospital gown, filled out some paperwork, and started my IV.  The nurses were so great, answered all of our questions and made us feel safe and sound.  The head nurse had hand-picked our staff, as our birth was so unique, we had written a birth plan that meant a lot to us and we needed a staff that would respect our wishes and understand our story.  Cathy W. was "my" nurse, and I could not have asked for a more perfect fit.

7:00am
The surgical team started trickling in and introducing themselves, making sure we understood all that would happen during the c-section.  The last to show up was my doctor, Dr. Ahanya, who came in to do one last ultrasound (of about 80 total, I counted), checking on the position of the baby. So that was it, it hit me then that I would be pregnant for another hour at the most.  By 8am, my mom and Aaron's parents had arrived, my mom checked in with me and we shared a tear or two.  Aaron had been given his instructions on his "job" in the operating room (keeping me calm), and we were pretty much ready to meet our baby at that point!

7:45 am
My nurse Cathy came in to let us know that we'd have to wait a little longer, they were finding some extra blood, in case I needed a transfusion (which I did, so I'm really glad we waited!).  Aaron decided this would be a good time to quickly run out and greet his parents, and run to the bathroom (ahem, to do you know what).  Of course while he was out, the staff came to let us know that it was time, and whisked me away to the O.R. before Aaron returned.  I had a mini panic attack, but they assured me they would find him and bring him in before they got started.  So, into the O.R. I went, with the bright shiny lights and metal surgical equipment ready to go.  They sat me up on the table and gave me the spinal, which made me feel like I peed my pants, and then everything went numb from the waist down, I swear, weirdest feeling EVER.  Aaron still wasn't there (at that point I was thinking that I was going to kill him for taking too long in the bathroom, this was NOT the time to be lollygagging!)  Later, I found out they wouldn't let him in until I was numb, IV's in, and ready to go, but still.

8:30am
I'm all set, Aaron is there by my side in his blue scrubs and mask, the "relaxing" cd is playing, and the team is ready to go! This is where it gets slightly hazy for me, as I felt some tugging and pulling on my abdomen, heard some cutting and clinking, got sick a few times and finally heard the words from Aaron's mouth "he's coming...he's almost here...they're taking him out right now!"...followed by his next sentence..."He's going to the bathroom everywhere!"...instead of "he's perfect", or "beautiful" or "he's breathing and doing great", it was "he's going to the bathroom!"...haha, as I think back on that moment, it makes me smile every time. 

8:48am
This is it - our miracle baby boy is born.  This is true love in it's finest form.

Abraham's very 1st photo, just seconds after birth

At that point, one of the nurses brought him around the curtain so I could see him, my amazing beautiful son, for the first time.  I had told the team that I REALLY wanted skin-to-skin contact with him as soon as possible, and they made it happen.  Here's me holding him for the first time (tears of joy, of course)

Mommy holding Abraham for the 1st time
Daddy holding Abraham for the 1st time
First Family Photo


Annabelle Grace
Many of you don't know this, but I carried our sweet sweet baby girl, Abraham's twin sister, who we named Annabelle Grace, in my womb until the birth day.  There was no other option, in order to save Abraham, we had to do it, and so it was.  This is why the birthday was so bittersweet, as we said a final goodbye to one baby and welcomed the other into our lives.  We did get to hold our daughter, which I am so thankful for.  I will never ever forget that moment as long as I live, her tiny little body wrapped in the light pink handmade prayer blanket.  In the recovery room, I got to hold both babies for a short time, and Abraham somehow knew his sister was there, as he opened his eyes for the first time with her there.  There are no words for describing how emotionally wrenching it is to lose a child, it is just horrible.  But we carry her with us in our hearts, and know we will meet her again in heaven one day.  And we continue to believe that she is Abraham's guardian angel, and that a little piece of her lives in him.  We will never forget you, Annabelle.  I'll always be your mommy, xoxoxoxo. 

Annabelle's Tree (planted in our backyard)

9:30am, the recovery room
Aaron and I have some quiet time with our new baby, say our final goodbye's to Annabelle, and the family meets Abraham James for the fist time!  Grandma Kathy, Grandma Deb and Grandpa Tom, Uncle Ben, Uncle AJ, and Ian are all there to share in our happiness and meet our brand new little bundle of joy.  The feeling starts coming back in my legs, but I'm feeling exhausted, excited, emotional and oh so happy to be holding this little miracle on my chest, the best feeling in the world, no doubt about that.      

pure joy


Man oh man are people right on the money saying that you really can't prepare for what life will be like with a new baby, you have to experience it for yourself.  Babies are absolute miracles, they really are.  I feel SO fortunate and thankful that I am able to cradle a happy healthy boy in my arms day and night.

I want to take a moment to thank everyone, and there are lots of you, who helped us along through this difficult pregnancy and birth by sending your prayers and good thoughts, as I know many of you did on a daily basis.  I am humbled and amazed by the power of prayer, it truly is magnificent.  We could NOT have made it through is experience without your kindness and love and we are so so thankful for each and every one of you.

"thanks for your prayers, everyone - I love you!"


Thank you thank you thank you, we love you all.
With all our love,
Amy, Aaron and baby Abraham

7 comments:

  1. What a beautiful retelling of a beautiful, and difficult, story. We will have to talk more about the whole process. Congratulations.

    -Liz

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  2. Thanks for sharing your story. Such great photos too! Congrats!

    Nikki & Ryan Buck :)

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  3. I am a complete wreck. This is the most amazingly sad and heartwarming thing in the world. Man do I miss you guys. And boy oh boy do I miss your uncle. Love you all!

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  4. Thanks for sharing your personal story in your own incredible words. You write beautifully and this story is priceless. Abe is blessed you recorded it. Love you all. Julie

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  5. My heart goes out to u but we never know gods plan for us thank god every day for the precious gift of Abe and each other u really are blessed. Luv u all

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  6. To my dear dear Amy and Aaron,
    Thank you for sharing your story/life in such a beautiful way. I know it was not easy to write and it truly is filled with so much love. I know with all my heart that Annabelle is our little angel watching over her brother.
    You are such a wonderful mother! And Aaron such a fantastic dad. Abe is one lucky fellow! And we all are so blessed to have him in our lives!!
    My heart does ache for that little girl that is in heaven, but the ache isn't so hard when I hold that little boy in my arms.
    So, as you know only too well, cherish every moment as I cherish all of you!
    Love always,
    Mom

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  7. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of the birth of your children. I know Annabelle is looking after all of you. You are right about the horrible act of losing your child. It is so hard to imagine God's plan. The pain is so severe...and the intense love for them is why we hurt so bad. Abraham is a beautiful child and God's Blessings as you start the beginning of many wonderful times together. You are so deserving of this wonderful miracle. My prayers for all of you, especially your beautiful baby daughter, Annabelle Grace, who is now with God in the arms of Grandpa Jim and Uncle Eric. Love, Ruth McBride

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